Family Moment Monday--Sometimes a mother needs to keep her mouth shut!!

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Jim has his driver's license, finally!!!

He's almost seventeen and he started driver's ed. a little late because he couldn't fit it in his schedule with football, etc.

But on Friday he took his road test and now he has the coveted driver's license!!!

On Thursday he and I went out to practice parallel parking.  He's been driving with me for the last year in the Lincoln Town Car which is not the easiest car to park.  But Jim assured me that on the test they measure the length of the car and then add six feet.  After many attempts he seemed able to get the car into a space about that size.

So we went to the test.  The tester had me come along and sit in the back seat during the road test.  I tried to not pay attention.  But when he had Jim change lanes I notice Jim check his blind spot and THEN the instructor looked up at him as if to see if he had checked it.  This happened a couple times!  I SO wanted to say something.  I thought he would be marked down for sure.  But I kept my mouth shut.

For the parallel parking segment the tester measured the car and set the cones at the exact size of the car!!!

I was biting my tongue!!!  I thought I'll just go over and jokingly ask if he wouldn't give Jim a break for driving a car that big.  Then I could mention the extra six feet thing.

Then I came to my senses.  Jim is almost 17.  He doesn't need his mom to rescue him.  This is HIS road test.  He can handle it.  Even if the tester is being unfair, Jim can handle it.  I don't need to say a thing.  And speaking up sends the wrong message.  Jim needs to know that I know that he is capable of managing his own life (almost:-).

I thought Jim would say something, but he did not.  I told myself again, Keep your mouth shut!  And I'm happy to say that I did.

I watched him start to try to parallel park that tank.  And would you believe it?  He got that car into a parking space the exact size of the car!!!!!  I was amazed.

He passed the test.  He was not marked down for failing to check a blind spot.  I had misinterpreted the testers looks.  He nailed the parallel parking.

You know what?  Jim is doing just fine.  He doesn't need me to manage little details of his life.  

Sometimes it's important for a mom to speak up.  And sometimes it's important to NOT say anything.  When a teen feels respected by his parents, when he starts to feel that there's really a lot that he can manage on his own, when he starts to gain confidence in his own abilities, he takes the first beginning steps toward responsible adulthood.  As a parent I need to give him that opportunity.    And sometimes that means, keeping my mouth shut!  (Always a bit of a challenge for me.)