Weight Loss Woes Wednesday or....How fat am I???

Before I even start this post, let me say that I love my mother dearly.  She has been gone for four years now and I still miss her very much.  She suffered from Alzheimer's Disease for over ten years and it was very painful for us all.  My mother, in her right mind, would never intentionally say something hurtful to one of us.  But the following story, while seeming less so at the time, was still so very funny.

I had had a baby maybe a month before, and I was still wearing some baby weight and also still somewhat stretched out.  But I wasn't huge, OK?  At least I didn't think so, until this shopping trip with my mother.  We were looking for a dress for an occasion, maybe the baby's baptism?  I don't remember.

We walked toward the dress department and I said (being only 5 ft tall), "Where are the petite sizes?"  My mother somehow had never quite gotten the idea that petite sizes are for short people.  She always seemed to think they were for "small" people.  (as in thin)

Her response?  "Well, we're looking for a dress for YOU, not for me."  (My mom was always very slim.)  I looked at her.  "There are petite sizes that fit me, Mom."

We found the petites and looking through the dresses she says, "I don't see much with elastic waists."  I look at her again.  "Why.  are you looking for an elastic waist?"  Mom says, "Oh.  I just thought you might find that more comfortable."  Now I'm annoyed.  "I'm not looking for an elastic waist."

Finally, we find a few dresses to try.  I put the first dress on.  I kind of like it.

Mom says:  "Oh, don't worry honey.  You'll lose all that weight."

Me:  I say sarcastically,  "All that weight, Mom??!!  I kind of like this dress."

(with her Alzheimer's Disease she doesn't get it.

Mom:  "Well remember you just had a baby."

Me:  " I KNOW I JUST HAD A BABY."

I try on another dress.

Mom:  (With her Alzheimer's she doesn't remember what has just been said.

"You'll lose all that weight, honey.  Don't worry."

Me:  "I'M NOT WORRIED, MOM."

Mom:  "Well, remember you just had a baby."

Me:  "I haven't forgotten about the baby, OK Mom?"

I try another dress.

Mom:  "Too bad we're not in Virginia.  You could borrow a dress from Cousin Elaine."

The relative she was speaking about, I thought, was at least two or three dress sizes bigger than I was.  I look at her in complete disbelief.

Me: "WHAT??????!!!!"

Mom:  "Well, remember you just had a baby."

I'm staring at her now with an icy stare.  There's a minute or two of silence.

Mom:  "Don't worry, honey, you'll lose all that weight."

Me:  Through clenched teeth I say,  "I'm not worried, Mom.  Let's go home."

As soon as she had left I called my sister Maryanne.

"All right, HOW FAT AM I?"  I practically yelled in the phone.

Maryanne:  "What are you talking about?"

I tell her the whole story.  She is rolling on the floor laughing.

Me:  "Then she tells me maybe I could borrow a dress from Cousin Elaine.  Am I fat enough to wear one of her dresses????????"

Maryanne can't even speak.  She's laughing so hard I don't think she could even breathe.  Finally she says, "NO.  NO, you're NOT!!!"

Me:  "You're lying.  I really am, aren't I.  Because Mom has Alzheimer's she's telling me the truth.  She has no inhibitions."

Maryanne can't talk.  She's gasping for breath.  She's dropped the phone.  Finally she says, trying to get the words out clearly,  "No.  No. You are NOT that fat.  You really are not.  I can't believe she said that."  

More paroxysms of laughter from us both

Me:  "Are you sure?  Are you telling me the truth?" (I still had my doubts)

She's lost it again.  It's several minutes before she can speak again.

Maryanne: "You really are not.  Honestly.  You are not that fat.  You could not wear one of her dresses....... And remember you just had a baby......(I'm gasping)   Just kidding," she says.

While I laughed with her, I still kind of wondered......

 And I did, eventually, lose "all that weight!!!!"

(Course, I've also put most of it back on, but that's another story....