I'm almost finished with the first book.
I'm going to have to write more about this because it's really on my mind.
But the first thing I thought to tell Mary was the following:
I know this is a fictional book, a fantasy story. But I do want you to remember something. (Not that my daughter dates yet or anything.)
If a guy tells you he's dangerous, HE IS!!! OK? Get rid of him!
If he does things that are dangerous-- like drinking, or taking drugs, or driving fast, do not date that guy!!
There are girls that feel drawn to the "bad boy." IT"S NOT A GOOD IDEA!
And it doesn't matter how attractive such a guy is. It doesn't matter how you feel about him. Don't date guys that do dangerous things.....
OK, Mary?
Her response: OK Mom.
(Nuf said. For now.)
10 comments:
Well said. I think my girl can tell right from wrong and dumb from naive, but I still want her to wait on those books until at least 16. At 13 she only had the desire (short lived) when her cousin (only six months older) was talking constantly about the books and waiting on pins and needles for the film to come out . . . my sis indulges a bit too much, I think, but she's a single parent and it is her daughter and her decision. My sis is a good mom, please don't think I'm saying she's not. I just think it's hard for her to fight the consumerist secular stuff.
The one problem I have for now about these books is the idea you can actually lay next to a guy and yeah..right...sorry...not me...not some people..not at certain ages.
Yes, its fictional, but there are some like me who could not always get out of the dreamy mode. I am very glad your daughter has you for a mom who guides her as she read these things. Mine all went nuts on them, but I had some talks. I think the thrill is over. Well, I think so, anyway.
Do let us know what you think!
My 13-year-old hasn't yet shown an interest, mostly because she rebels against any fad she sees that doesn't have to do with Lord of the Rings. ;-) But, I figure I'll get around the reading the books, so I can what all the fuss is.
That's how I started reading Harry Potter. I'd read so many letters to the editor of our Archdiocesan paper, I knew I'd have to form my own judgement. And discovered (controversial though this may be) that HP is fine.
I'm rambling. Do write more!
My 15-year-old daughter also read the book, but we've had numerous discussions about the characters in the book. She's one of the few kids in her high school who aren't allowed to date. She knows right from wrong and to run quickly away from any influences that are negative or immoral.
It all boils down to the efforts and guidance parents give to their children. I commend parents who take the time to read and hold discussions with their children on life issues.
And, . . . what Gail said. Read it with them or before them. I think that's advice I often give folks. You do have to form your own opinion as Catholic Wife and Mother said. The more I read about the books and hear about them, the more I wonder if I should read them? I'm like Gail's girl, though much older, in that I rebel against hooplah stuff. At least for a long stretch. I'm NOT buying the dern books though, if I ever do read them. And, the wait at the library is horrendously long. I'd be in HI before I get book one. Anyway, Suz knows I don't really have an interest in the books (I have issues with dracula and anything to do with souls at risk, theoretically, for real, or otherwise). And, like Suz, I have issues with pulling myself from fantasy (it's the "I wanted to be an actress" in me, I guess; the girl who wanted to be Galadriel . . . ).
I have to say now that I'm reading them that I probably should have waited until she was a little older. The action kind of swings from very mushy romance novel to almost a horror story. It's very hard to resist these trendy things when your kids are in school. They really want to know what everyone is talking about.
I have an issue with the souls at risk thing too, Sarah. And the role modeling. Although my daughter is very sensible and responsible what is the advantage of adding this influence?
And Suzanne, the lying together.. I talked to her about that too.
I'm going to write more about this tomorrow. Right now I'm going to finish Twilight.
My 17 year old read the first one earlier this year, but declined to finish the series (he said it wasn't that great)
My 12 year old has asked about them, so I have the first one on order to read first.
Oooh, now, Mimi - I know you'll tell us what you think, being as well read as you are. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this!!
Rosemary - it's a struggle, isn't it? God bless you.
Very true! Very well said! I haven't read these books yet, but my 17 year old neice is really wanting me to.
I wish life weren't so complicated all the time...at every turn there is something else to tackle! Having 3 teens at home now still...two adult aged, but still don't know much about life...ah!!! Sometimes I feel like the worst parent...I have tried and prayed so hard to be like what Gail said above...how blessed she is and I pray for her and all of us that our young people wake up and can read between the lines and see the subtle ways and how deceptive they can be. I don't know...it is what it is, as they say, I suppose..still so frustrating.
Guess I'm just a poo poo in the challenge department. Sigh.
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