Spoiling or Loving

Today my daughter got new braces on her bottom teeth.  She had already had the top ones.

I have three other children who have had braces.  I know they hurt, sometimes a LOT, when they first get them on.  And I know it's not just teenage whining because my good friend Pat had braces as an adult and she told me that they do indeed hurt A LOT when you first get them on.

So.  With each of my other children, on that first day of braces, I brought them a milkshake to school at lunchtime in case their lunch was too hard to eat.

One of my sons was in so much pain he couldn't even drink the milkshake.  Touching the straw to his teeth hurt too much.

The first time I did this a close friend of mine said I should not do that.  She said I should let them tough it out.  I considered that she might be right.  We don't want our children to think that life does not include suffering.  We also don't want them to think that when things are tough that mom will always come to the rescue.  We don't want them to remain dependent.  We don't want to spoil them.

On the other hand, I considered that it might also just show them how much I love them, that I care enough to take the time to help, when I can.  I thought it might show them an example of love, that we make sacrifices for the poor (as in poor teen with hurting teeth:-), that we give of our time to help others.

I asked if she thought she would have trouble eating lunch.  She said she didn't know.  I asked if she wanted me to bring her a milkshake.  She got that sweet smile of satisfaction on her face and honestly said, "I don't know if I'll have trouble with lunch.  But I would love a milkshake."

My heart said do it.  So I did.  She loved it.