Just because someone is angry does not mean that I have done something wrong. Nor does it necessarily mean that they think I have done something wrong.
My child crying does not mean I have made a parenting mistake or sinned. Sometimes my child is crying because I did the right thing. I set appropriate limits or denied permission for something they really shouldn't be allowed to do. I must judge my actions based on what I really think is right and not on the reaction of others, even my children.
By nature mothers try to keep their children happy. But when a child is crying because I did the right thing, I must try to simply endure the awful feeling of observing my child's distress and not try to fix it. I think this enduring is particularly difficult when the "child" is an upset teenager. Teens are so good at manipulating and justifying their behavior or their requests. As a mom, I then start to question my judgment. That's when I pray for wisdom that I will decide what God, wants even if it is not what my teen wants.
7 comments:
Oh, yes. And it sure is rough. Thanks for putting it in to words--I have been there and surely will again!
Great observations! And quite pertinent for me at the moment. Thanks!
So true, and with the teens it gets a lot harder to do! They sometimes act as if your decision is destroying their life! I can handle the little ones, it's the big ones that sometimes requires dad to step in. They don't question him to much, LOL.
So true Lori. My teen son is a very good boy but sometimes he has his off days. But it still breaks my heart when he cries.
Good post Rosemary.
There really is something about the tears of a teen that really pull at a mother's heartstrings. I think for me the boys' tears are harder than the girls'. Girls are so full of emotions all the time anyway. But when the teen boy cries that tender little boy inside him is revealed and mom is reminded of how young and vulnerable he still is, even inside the big body.
Amen!
But, it's hard to remember.
When my children don't like a decision I've made for them, I tell them, "I'm sorry, but it's not my job to make you happy. It's my job to keep you safe and healthy."
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