The Going Away Party...

Mary has been gone almost two weeks now. At the moment she is in Community Based Training for intensive instruction in an obscure language and living with a family who will only speak to her in that language.

Am I still missing her terribly. Yes. Yes, I am.

We did have a going away party for Mary. The picture below was taken at Costco where my two daughters and I had gone to shop for the party... and then ran into my daughter-in-law, accidentally. Too much fun!

Runner was supposed to an "African pattern." :-) World map and Africa map to show where she was headed... A thoughtful friend loaned a polaroid camera to take pictures with Mary by the map.

Buffet table.

The young people put together this charcuterie board. I guess it's a new trendy thing. A friend of ours called it the millennial meat tray. He had scene it done before. It was quite a tasty collection.

Many thanks to Mary's friends who helped so much with the flowers and the charcuterie board.

Even as the flowers faded days later, they were pretty.

My brother came and brought Mary this useful book. Dear cousin Monique came too with her sweet boyfriend Tristan.

Special treat to have all four of Mary's nephews here! Four, three, two, and a couple months. Cuteness!!!

The three sisters all together for one of the last times for the next two years...

And, of course, a photo of the whole family. One of those rare times when all of us are together.

Praying for Mary. She is in God's hands. Amen.

Trip to Key Largo...Just With Mary

Before Mary's departure Mike and I went on a trip to Key Largo, with just her. I don't think we had ever done that before. It seemed appropriate though. We would not see her in a long time and we wanted to spend time with just her.

None of us had been to Key Largo before. It was quite lovely. We rented an AirBnb, a condo, on the water with the above view from its dock. Gorgeous water views...

And a Mustang convertible, a favorite car of Mary's, for traversing the Keys. (Did we spoil her? Yes we did, because we wouldn't have another opportunity for a long time. :-)

It was a time to indulge just one of our children. It was a lot of fun.

Mary is an excellent cook and we let her choose the restaurants. She often took photos of the presentations of the food. The food was delicious and she thoughtfully made sure there were always gluten free options, so I could eat without getting sick.

We drove as far as Key West one day, the southernmost point of the continental U.S.

I talked to Mary on the phone last night. There was a lot of breaking up and a delay in the voice. Hope it won't always be that way. :-/

Expect a lot of posts about Mary. Can't help it. She's far away on a different continent. Praying for her every day.

Next post? Mary's going away party.

Missing Mary....

One of my daughters has joined the Peace Corps and will be serving in an undeveloped country.

I'm very proud of her. She has more courage than I have ever had and I have no doubt she will serve her fellow human beings well.

I see now that her plane has landed and she is in her country. I'm glad she's on the ground.

But I miss her so much, as does our whole family.

I taught my four-year-old grandson where Africa is on the map and where we are. He said, "Why can't we build a bridge there? I told him the ocean is way too big. You can't build a bridge that far. At four, of course, he can understand much more than he can articulate. He said, "But people can build bridges!" I replied, "Yes, they can, but this distance across an ocean is just way too far." He looked at me unconvinced. Surely I had seen the children's book Amazing Structures. Surely I knew about bridges that span amazing lengths. Yes. What he doesn't know is the size of the world and that is impossible to explain, even to a child who has been to Belgium and to China.

Mary was living with us until the time she left. There are things that make my eyes sting. The glass on the bathroom counter that I brought up with Advil for her while she was packing. Her door is slightly ajar as it always was when when was not home. The cardboard packaging that I told her to leave and that I would pick up later. (Yes, it's in the recycling bin now.)

I took some chicken out of the freezer for dinner. I didn't have to think if she might be home for dinner and maybe I should take out more. No, she will not be home for dinner.

Her commitment is for two years. I know it will be an incredible experience, life-changing even. Having lived overseas myself I know there is nothing that clarifies one's vision of life in quite the same way. For Mary, it will be even more so because she will be helping people who need help.

She may or may not have electricity. Yikes. But we are so spoiled. People live without electricity. They live without running water. They live without air conditioning. The temperature was 100 degrees today in the city of her destination. But she can do this. A life with discomfort is how most of the world lives. And she is a strong, determined woman.

She will return, I have no doubt, with greatly increased compassion and love for others. Her heart will be expanded. Her appreciation of life's blessings will be entirely different. She will look at the world through the eyes of someone who has experienced a whole lot more than the average American twenty-something.

Embrace the Peace Corps, Mary. I know you will. God is with you and you are riding on the wings of love and prayers. So proud of you.

Blessed be God in all He plans for us.

Grandsons!

Grandsons are just the best. Well, OK, I don't have any granddaughters yet. And I'm sure they will be wonderful. But for now, to say that I am enjoying my grandsons is quite the understatement.

 They keep me laughing all day long. Their expressions, the things they say, the way they interact. It's all hilarious.

And my only responsibility is to love them (and keep them safe while I babysit.) How fun is that?

How could I not love them? Right?

Their energy invigorates me. Their humor can make me laugh till I cry.

Their development is fascinating. New words and expressions every day! And new abilities-- like climbing the "rock wall" above!

I give them hugs and kisses. I applaud their achievements. I make excuses for their tiny missteps.

And nothing could be more fun.

 Look at these faces. Need I say more?

And, yes, there are only two in these pictures, but I have one more whose parents like to stay off the internet. I respect that. But I am blessed with three!

AND two more grandchildren on the way. I'm in heaven. Blessed be God.

Do Manners Make the Man?

On September 13 the Wall Street Journal published an opinion piece by Paula Marantz Cohen (dean and English professor at Drexel University) entitled "Jane Austen Knows That Manners Make the Man, "followed by the sentence, "Her work is now popular because of its eloquent portrayal of how politeness is tied to deeper morality."

Well. What a great topic. I never thought about this quality of Jane Austen's work. I love her novels because of how wonderfully she puts words together. But this is a very interesting point.

Courtesy is required of the Christian. I have read the truth many times that courtesy is an example of Christian charity. (Too many times to cite the source.) John Saward has in interesting essay on the subject on the EWTN website called, "The Grace of God in Courtesy." (originally published in 1994 in The Catholic World Report.)

But back to Jane Austen and Professor Cohen's essay. She writes,"But what I think is central to her popularity is a longing for civility in an age of coarseness and meanness."

Indeed, the coarseness and meanness is all around us. Good manners are important. Politeness matters. I think teaching politeness to children may have fallen out of favor in child rearing. A friend of mine working in a preschool setting told me she was corrected when she prompted three-year-olds to say please and thank you after receiving a snack. She was told they did not think three was old enough for such instruction. IMHO, if they can say the words, it's not too early for the instruction.

The proverb, "Manners maketh the man" is said to be hundreds of years old. This is wisdom of the ages.

For heaven's sake, be polite. It's a matter of treating people right.

As Cohen says in her essay, "The word 'manners' sounds prissy and old-fashioned to contemporary ears. But Austen presents it as the need to treat others humanely rather than instrumentally. It is the outward expression of respect for others-- whether one knows them well, slightly, or not at all."

Polite people are treated differently than those who are rude. People like to be treated with respect. They look more kindly on those who show that courtesy. And it is indeed a matter Christian charity.

It was true in Jane Austen's time and it's still true today.

The End of Summer...

We know the end of summer is nearly here in Michigan, but the lovely warm temperatures of late could fool us. We know the calendar does not lie. We know that the truly glorious Autumn in Michigan is just around the corner. But we are being blessed right now with temps that still feel like summer.

My husband and I took our dog Nala for a walk in a nearby nature area/ park. Look at this lovely pond.

And these wildflowers....so delightful.

I'm convinced that spending time out in nature refreshes the soul. Could it be because the glory of God is all over it?

These flowers are from my own garden. Delphinium above. The flowers have such a stunningly beautiful purple and blue hue. They bloomed in the Spring. And they're back for an encore. I could give a standing ovation. :-)

Below is pink stonecrop. It's a kind of sedum. (Sedum cauticola "Lidakense) I bought it for it's beautiful blue-grey foliage. (Can you tell I like blue?)

I had no idea it would also produce these lovely pink flowers in late summer and autumn.

 

 And then the alyssum. I plant alyssum every year. The little flowers are so delicate and beautiful...and they bloom all summer.

The white alyssum has the added benefit of a very lovely fragrance. I have to have white alyssum along my front walk so I can breathe that sweet fragrance every day.

What flowers are you enjoying these days?

They're not going to last long. We could have a frost very soon. That just makes every day a gift, right?

Blessed be God.

Tea Party Shower-- Feeling Grateful for My Adult Kids...

I have come to very much enjoy efforts of hospitality with my daughters, all three of them. 

This particular shower was a group effort between my youngest two daughters and me. It was a bridal shower for Liz's college roommate. Liz did the invitations, flowers and centerpieces.

 Mary made ALL the food. (Delicious!) It was quite a job!

 I did the favors and prizes for the games, with advice from them. Liz planned and led all the games.

I love that they don't hold back. they don't try to make these efforts as easy as possible. They try to make them as nice and as gracious as possible.

That being said, they wanted to use fine china. Course, we didn't have any set that would be big enough so we mismatched a couple sets. (I guess that's a thing now.) Then they decided we should use my mother's old teacup collection. Cool, I thought. Then when they said they wanted to use crystal I said, "I knew it was only a matter of time before someone suggested we bring out the crystal." Their reply, "You don't want to?" And I said, "No, go for it," feeling very pleased at my daughters' gifts of hospitality. So we brought out mine, my mother's, and my grandmother's crystal. Some of it was very old. But, hey, why keep these things if you're not going to use them, right?

There were a couple children coming so the child size tea set was a must.

Liz outdid herself on the tea party themed centerpieces and flowers.

The guests seemed to very much enjoy themselves, which is, of course, the point of the whole effort.

And the bride? The bride was radiant and appreciative. I love these girls.

There's something wonderful that happens when your adult children join your team. We did not argue. We worked together. They pretty much planned the whole thing and I just did the parts I was assigned. With some advice from them. After all, they know better than I (a lot better) what young people like these days. Or at least what these young people like.

There are challenges to letting your children go, letting them have their adult autonomy. I am blessed that all my adult children are living responsible lives. And I am so grateful to see them mastering the art of hospitality and giving to others with their whole hearts.

God is good. All the time.