We are having a graduation open house for my high school graduate.
I'm wondering if this is just a custom in the Midwest or if it's all across the country. When I was in high school we might have a kid-party for the teens-- you know, chips, pop, etc. That's it. The family might go out to dinner and the graduate given a card and a check that was somewhat more than what you would get for a birthday.
Now we have graduation open houses where large numbers of people are invited. Many adults bring cards and checks. Lots of food is provided. Some people rent tents. It looks like a small (or even not so small) wedding reception at home. It seems overdone to me. We're having one because it is so customary here that I think my graduates would feel a little neglected and left out if we were the only family to not provide one. (OK, I have bowed to peer pressure:-)
High school graduation is not a sacrament. It's not a wedding reception. It's not a college graduation, which ironically around here is celebrated the way HS graduations used to be celebrated-- maybe a nice dinner with family and perhaps a larger than usual gift or check. The college graduation is really much more of an achievement to be honored... hmmm. I have pondered what started all this.
Someone pointed out to me that it is a kind of rite of passage. This is when many people leave home for the first time. Relationships will change for the graduate. New expectations of responsibility will begin. True enough.
Anyway, we are frantically preparing for this party. The great thing is we're getting all kinds of things done on the house that otherwise would have been put off. Some people rent tents and tables and chairs around here. I draw the line on that. It's not a wedding reception. If it rains, people will have to try to squeeze into our not-so-very-big-house. If they are uncomfortably crowded, they'll leave.
My prayer is that through the intercession of that champion of hospitality, my friend Saint Martha, the guests at this party will feel welcomed and comfortable, that they will enjoy the refreshments that we will provide (and that we will have enough), that the Lord's grace would fill our home and our yard and that everyone, especially our son John, will feel well loved.... (and that I will be gentle kind and loving during the whole preparation process :-)
14 comments:
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Hi Rose!
In Hawaii, high school graduation parties are big, too! And mostly SIMPLE, with lots of food. Usually they're held in the home--"Open House" -style whith people coming and going. Guests spill out into to the yard or garage, which rarely has a door. Lawn chairs in the carport-whoohoo-pass the chips! It's awesome!
When I graduated in 1983 it seemed like we spent the whole summer graduation-party hopping. It didn't matter if it was in a garage or in a country club-we were SOOOOO excited to be having fun together and looking forward to the next thing!
Families, extended families, friends-everyone came-even from out-of-state. Being in Hawaii was a guarantee for lots of visitors anyway =0)! If families were close, all members were invited/came to the party. If it was just a classmate, only the graduate came. It was one great summer of celebrating.
You don't give yourself enough credit for your marvelous hostessing, Rose! You, Mike and your children are inspirational and it IS a pleasure just to be in your company. Don't worry about a tent or anything fancy! We can't wait to honor John! And you, his parents!!!
BTW, closing ceremonies at camp begin at 11:00 and end at 11:30.
Love,
mary
When I graduated highschool in 1999, in Ontario, some people had graduation parties, pretty casual affairs, usually a barbecue, but most parents didn't. The parties seemed to be mostly an opportunity for the graduates to get together and celebrate than a gift-giving and getting exercise, and didn't have a lot of non-student guests, at least that I observed.
I don't remember what my folks did for my graduation...obviously not something huge. :-) Nevertheless, I know they were and are proud of my achievements.
You'll do fine. We had a little outdoor cookout and had some families over that we were close to and one of our priests came over. It was nice enough and she knew we were proud and that all those who came were too.
I guess it is a sort of right of passage in that we can all let them know that although it is exciting, that we realize they are probably a bit nervous about what their next steps in life will be and that we are still there to pat them on the back with some encouragement...that is all it seems to mean in my opinion...some do go waaaaay overboard!
I don't know what the tradition is here, but I can say if that is it, I've never been invited.
Anyway, enjoy!
The parties are DEFINITELY a tradition in this area, (and not at all where I grew up in PA), but I've been to ones ranging from a-couple-of-snack-trays-bought-at-Sam's-Club to rented-tents-and-tables and food-catered-by-a-nearby-big-city-restaurant (this one was ethnic). And all the friends had fun at all of them. And to my knowledge nobody keeps track of who does or doesn't bring a big (or any) check. Although maybe my kids just have nice friends.....
I've done four of them so far, (borrowed tables and catered by me), and I'll probably miss them when my last two are done.
By the way, the son of friends down the street decided he wanted something different, and hosted "Billfest" - four different garage bands playing on the family's back deck, with lots of munchables. It was a blast for all ages.
All of my siblings graduated 5+ years before I did, and most of them graduated in a different city than I did (we moved). But, my parents never had an open house for anyone else except me. They just weren't done when they were all graduating, but when I graduated, it seemed like everyone did them. They are quite a big deal around here. (The neighbors behind us are already working on re-doing their backyard, etc. for NEXT year!)
A lot of girls in my graduating class had these fancy teas at country clubs or their parents homes. It was mostly classmates that attended. Very formal, fancy and expensive. I didn't have one - not my style.
My friend and I had a kidnapping breakfast. Our moms arranged it all with the girls moms before hand and early one morning we drove around to each of our friend's houses and kidnapped them out of bed. They had to come as they were - pajamas, no make up etc. All they could do was put shoes on. Then we took them all back to our house for a big breakfast party. It was fun and different!
These parties/teas were more about having one last fun time with your friends than getting gifts or anything like that.
How interesting all these variations on the grad. party are. Salome Ellen, yours sounds like what ours are like. We borrow chairs and tables, maximize the use of space in and around our house and pray it doesn't rain. It is supposed to rain Saturday but be sunny on Sunday so... so far so good on the weather. We're keeping our fingers crossed
Hi, Rosemary!
My husband and I are involved in a friendly, though ongoing, argument about graduations. I tell him that his was the only school district I ever heard of that never marked 8th Grade graduations. As we've moved around the country, it would appear that I'm correct -- everywhere we go, people seem to celebrate 8th Grade with a ceremony and families have parties.
Having said that, I do agree with him (and with what you said about college being a true achievement) that it's expected you'll finish 8th, so why make such a fuss about it?
But, as a mother who enjoys marking the milestones of life, I'm sure we'll do something for each child as he/she reaches 8th, high school, college, etc. I figure I'll let the child set the scale of the party, as some of my brood are more into making a fuss about themselves while others prefer to remain low-key.
Have a great weekend, and I hope the weather works in your favor!
Catholic Wife, thanks for your thoughts. We celebrate eighth grade graduations too, not with a party but with a grad. ceremony at school and a family celebration.
I enjoy celebrating the milestones in my children's lives too. And although I've questioned the rational behind the customary extent of these high school grad. parties around here, I do actually enjoy putting them on too.
Typically, around here, people may have 100 to 150 or more people at one of these parties. My wedding reception was abou that size! And we will probably have around 100 people or so here too, over the course of the evening. Still, I do expect it to be fun. And one really great thing about it is that we have finished a lot of things around the house that might not have been finished for a while if it weren't for the dealine of the party :-)
God bless!
Where do you live Rosemary? I live in MN and we are usually given a choice, big party- or money for graduation. I chose money, but I think if I did it again, I would choose party. You can email me laura7550@yahoo.com if you don't want to say on your blog, I just noticed you said "here in the midwest" and it got me curious, I don't think I've ever asked you before!
Oh, duh, Michigan, I should have looked at your profile in the first place, sorry. I'm a dork!
Laura, you're not a dork. It's hard to take in every little piece of information on a blog and still read more than a couple posts in a sitting.. Yeah, we're in Michigan.
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