Wednesday, March 07, 2007

An Aching Maternal Heart

My son was not accepted into University of Michigan's music school. We knew this was a possibilty given how very competitive the school is, but honestly I was very surprised.

We must trust God on this one. (as in everything) I did indeed pray for the Lord's will to be done. Still, I can't help but wonder why. He says he wasn't good enough. I know I am blinded by maternal pride but I just don't believe that. Perhaps the audition was not good enough but HE certainly is, as is his musical ability. Perhaps God just didn't want him there. And God has his reasons.

The pain is in knowing how disappointed he is. He's been very strong, but I know he really wanted to go to Michigan. It's tough to be young and not have the perspective that age gives. Even so, he's been very mature about it. (Actually he's been more mature about it than I have.) I'm the one thinking that it's their loss. Some day they will be embarrassed by this decision. Who wants to go there anyway, I'm thinking, outlining their flaws as a school which I know all too well having graduated from there.

He has not complained, made no excuses, no self-pity. He's holding his head high and I couldn't be more proud of him, regardless of where he continues to glorify God with his music. the Lord knows where he wants him to be..... and that's where I want him to be too.

Thank you for all your prayers for his auditions...

15 comments:

Barb Szyszkiewicz said...

That is sad news. I will pray that God leads the admissions officers at The Right School for Him, to welcome him there.

Denise said...

Rosemary,
I know your heart is aching. Know that I am praying for your son. It is amazing how many times we think we know the perfect place for us but God has other plans. Yet I can't think of a time when those other plans have not turned out to be the best possible plan. Have faith!

Anonymous said...

I second what Catholic mom said.

ukok said...

I'm so sorry for this dissapointment for your family. It is especially hard to bear when our children are hurting, but as has been said, we only see the small screen verison of our life playing out, God sees the BIG screen version.

There is a time for everything. Some day your son will know that this rejection was the right thing to happen at the time, because quite likely, it will allow him to go on to bigger/better/more rewarding things.

(((hugs for you and your boy)))

Suzanne said...

Rosemary,
I am so sorry that you and your son have to feel this disappointment. I believe you when you say he plays beautifully.
If this school is as you say about music, such as is here in Indiana at the IU School of Music, I hate to say it, but politics can play a huge roll. Maybe you already know that and as frustrating as it is, I think he should know that and maybe he does realize it. God does have plans for him and maybe he really doesn't want him there. Even though I live right here in the midst of a huge university...very well known around the world, I still have no desire for any of my children to attend there. Keep praying and we all know that the best God wants will come about if you are doing that. :)

Mimi said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry to hear. While I believe that when God closes a door, he opens a window, I know it's hard to remember that in times of great disappointment.

Rosemary said...

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I know you are right.
Suzanne, I know what you mean. I told him that there is very likely more involved than his ability. It still stings, though. I went to U of M and I definitely know the negatives. When I told my sister of John's disappointment she said (with true sibling loyalty) I hate that school! I hate that school! (And she is also an alum)It's a good school. But like many competitive schools it's also got it's weirdness. (Notre Dame is an exception).

Angie @ Many Little Blessings said...

I'm so sorry, Rosemary! :( I'll be keeping him in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

I will pray for him, that God will show you both the path for him to take. I also agree with the open a window when the door is closed statement, although it probably doesn't bring alot of comfort right now...it will in the future when you see that window open.

FloridaWife said...

Oh, what a let down! I'm so sorry.

Rosemary said...

Angie, Jennifer, and FW, thank you all so much!

EC Gefroh said...

I'm so sorry Rosemary.

Colleen said...

I haven't been reading blogs as much lately. (It's okay, it's a Lent things!) Belatedly expressing my regret over the disappointment.

FWIW, Michigan rejected me. And now, I wouldn't have it any other way, as attending ANOTHER Big Ten (Go Illini!) is what led me to my husband and the life we now have!

I know I'm preaching to the converted, but God's got better things in store for your son! Hang in there and keep us up to date on the university search!

Rosemary said...

Esther and Catholic Wife and Mother, Thank you so much for your kind words and support.

Anonymous said...

There will be a better place for him and for reasons that may not be apparent at first. He has too much going for him and foremost is a wonderful Catholic family!