Momnipotent Book and Study by Danielle Bean

Author and editor Danielle Bean, herself a mother of eight, offers in her book Momnipotent a heartfelt encouragement to all mothers. Momnipotence, she explains, is “the kind of strength and power that belongs uniquely to women. When we deny our call to motherhood and fail to recognize its intrinsic dignity and worth, we deny the very gifts that make us uniquely female.”

Danielle Bean knows that she is expressing an idea profoundly countercultural and addresses the issue head-on.  “One of the fundamental tenets of modern popular thought is the rejection of traditional marriage and motherhood as cultural clichés that enslave women and rob them of their identities.” Indeed, this tenet underlies much of current discussion on the status of women and, sadly, it is rarely challenged openly. 

But Danielle Bean does just that.  She writes, “Betraying authentic femininity and squashing our true nature as women does not sound very empowering to me.”  Nor does it to me.  She goes on, “Motherhood is seen in some circles today, and those circles seem to be expanding, as demeaning to women because it removes them to such an extent from what is valued as really important, which is to say, the conspicuous achievements in society.”  Those who hold such views, of course, deny the very essence of what it means to be a woman. Bean continues, “If we ridicule and belittle the role of motherhood, the very place where women exercise their greatest strengths and find meaning and purpose for their greatest gifts, how can we expect happy and fulfilled individuals to result?

Rich with quotes from Pope Saint John Paul II’s Mulieris Dignitatum (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women)  Momnipotence offers an honest look at our uniquely feminine gifts and how they lead us to true happiness in our motherhood, a gift from God.  And Bean makes clear that all women are called to be mothers, not only biological mothers. She is including religious sisters, single women, and women unable to have children. All women are called to motherhood in the spiritual sense. To be a woman is to be maternal.

This book is about the gifts and importance of motherhood and about achieving balance in our everyday lives. Each chapter discusses a strength of motherhood and how its misuse can become a weakness. Simple five question quizzes at the end of each chapter help us to see where and how we can become more balanced and thus more conformed to God’s image of motherhood.

An eight week study can also be purchased with Momnipotent, including a DVD set entitled Momnipotent: Finding Peace, Balance, and Joy in Your Vocation as Mother.

With all of the negative propaganda about mothering in our culture today, this book and study will offer real encouragement to women. Motherhood is indeed a great gift from God, and Danielle Bean has helped women to truly appreciate it.

A mom's job

My daughter is home sick today. What a blessing to be able to be here with her to see to her needs and to comfort her. How sad for a child to know that Mom is inconvenienced by her illness, that her work suffers, that plans must be rearranged etc. In my opinion, it is a mother's job to care for her children, especially when they need extra attention. It is the nature of a child to desire this care. Thanks be to God that I can be home with my daughter.

The New Mommy Track

Last week U. S. News and World Report ran an article on "The New Mommy Track." It was about companies allowing their employees to work flextime, allowing moms to to be home more with their children. I think allowing mothers to be home more with their children is a great idea.

They told of a lawyer who can now eat breakfast with her family (because she got up at 5:00 and worked for two hours before the kids got up) and she can be home in time to make dinner. This is wonderful? How much was she seeing her children before?!? Showing up for breakfast and dinner? This is the mommy track? Who's taking care of the kids between breakfast and dinner? Does anybody care? Is it insignificant who takes care of the kids for the majority of the day? Mothering is important!! How can people have so little regard for children?

I just don't understand this mentality. This woman's children were 2 years old and an infant. Where did our society get the idea that caring for one's own children was somehow menial and/or meaningless work. It is a mother's greatest work.

Rushing and Living Well....

It seems, at least for me, that it is difficult to live well when I am consistently rushed. It is when I am in a hurry that I forget to pray, forget to notice things that need to be noticed, and generally neglect to keep the priorities that I normally would. I need in my schedule breathing room, thinking room, praying room, and plenty of room to love those around me. The schedule can become a false god.

Sick Children

OK. While I'm going on and on about being a stay-at-home mom I have a confession to make. I actually do work outside the home part time. But I work at my own children's school three hours a day. When one of my young children are sick, I just call the office and they find me a sub. (I also occasionally substitute teach.)

And today I do have a sick child home. He's 15 so he stayed home this morning while I went in to school. (I actually don't even like to do that.) I came home and took his temperature and it's almost 102! Mothering takes a lot of time and requires a lot of scheduling flexibility. I feel for those moms who have to go to work all day and need to leave even a teen home all day alone with a fever. It's hard enough to do it for a half day.

I know there are some who would say, for heaven's sake he's 15. He doesn't need for you to be home. I suppose that's true. But I know from experience that sick people, even adults, really appreciate nurturing. And when of my children needs nurturing, regardless of their age, I am grateful when I can be the one to provide it.

Staying at Home

Above you see the reasons I have spent the last twenty-two years raising children at home.

My good friend Mary has drawn my attention to a book review of "The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts in People Magazine. I have not read the book. The book examines the "economic pitfalls facing stay-at-home moms." What if your husband dies, leaves you, or loses his job?

Sadly, these are indeed risks that the stay-at-home mom faces. Some can be averted. Life insurance covers the first risk. Might your husband leave you? Well, yes. Sometimes men do. What if he loses his job? Well, that happens too. But to say that therefore a mom should make sure she is working seems like a drastic overreaction to me.

Moms who choose to stay home with their children make a lot of sacrifices. They sacrifice additional family income. They sacrifice career advancement. In some segments of society they sacrifice the respect of other women and sometimes men as well. And, yes, they do sacrifice financial security.

But the moms I know stay home with their children because they want what's best for their children and no sacrifice is too great. The children come first. Period. That being said, every mom I know who stays home with her children also finds it an extremely rewarding occupation.
I can't imagine a job that would be more satisfying or more fun. Yes, it's a sacrifice but, for me, it has also provided for me the most satisfying years of my life.

I'm sure my friend Mary would wholeheartedly agree.

Day Care is not so good?!?

I imagine there has been a lot of talk in the blogosphere about this new study by the National Institute for Child and Human Development that correlates time spent in child care before age 5 and later behavior problems at the sixth grade level. I'm sorry if my absence from the discussions lately results in my repeating points that have already been made. But I have to weigh in on this one.

This finding comes as no surprise to those of us who spend a lot of time with children.

I'm looking at a Wall Street Journal article summarizing the study. The conclusions?

Perhaps there is too much emphasis on academics. Maybe there is not enough sense of community in the classroom. Competition for toys may be rewarding aggressive behavior. The adult supervisors may not be sufficiently engaged. Ahem. Don't you just want to scream, "Maybe the kids just wanted to be with their moms!!!"

For heaven's sakes do you need to be a rocket scientist (or social scientist) to figure this one out?
Why is it so taboo to even suggest that maybe kids really do need their moms. Maybe it really does matter if mom is able and willing to make the sacrifice to stay home and care for her own children. In a well-reasoned, well-written article in the WSJ this thought never even occurred to the author? I imagine it is what everyone is secretly wondering.

At least this author did include one conclusion of the study that does indeed point to the superiority of care at home. "Being in large groups of kids is simply stressful. 70-80% of children in day care centers show increasing levels through the day of cortisol, a stress hormone linked to poor behavior." How can it be concluded that it's the large groups and not the separation from Mom? No one wants to ask the question, it seems.

The story of The Emperor's New Clothes certainly comes to mind.....