Years ago when my two oldest children were 2 and 3 years old we went every week to a roller skating rink near our house. Yes, roller skating, not roller blading. They had a program called "kinderskate" for preschoolers and it was a lot of fun. They would tighten the wheels on the little beginners so the skates wouldn't fly out from under them and, week after week, gradually give them a little more roll as the child gained the feel of it. There was a lesson, a snack, a free skate and lots of smiling stay-at- home moms holding hands with their children. We loved it.
Sometimes a mother would come in with a group of her daycare kids. One day, the mother of one of these children dropped by the rink. I presume she must have worked nearby. She stayed for a little while and then started to leave. The child started to cry and call for her. She continued walking in her heels and business suit, not looking back. Now I assume that not looking back must be a technique these mothers use to help the child calm down quicker-- I guess. Anyway, she walked the entire length of the rink with her child sobbing and screaming "Mama!" She never looked back, not even a glance.
I contemplated this situation in disbelief. How could she do that?? Not a wave, not a smile, not a "don't worry--I'll be back to get you." What was this mother thinking? I just couldn't imagine. Perhaps she had detached herself from her child so completely that tears meant nothing. I'm sorry. All I could think was how could a job be that important and how could a mother be so heartless.
Children need their mothers. How have we as a culture come so far from this truth. It seems so obvious to me. We must get back to a realistic understanding of the importance of mothering.
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