I heard someone say today that a two year old's behavior is something the parent has no control over. It wasn't a joke. It was about a specific behavior problem that was bothersome to the mother.
Over my years of being a parent I have heard this attitude expressed in different ways many times. I don't understand it. Isn't one person the parent for a reason?
Of course, a parent does not have absolute control over how a child responds to a situation or how a child chooses to act. But, over time, a parent has a great deal of control and enormous influence over a child's behavior.
If my two year old were doing something I did not like, there would be consequences for the behavior. (This isn't rocket science.) The consequences would be unpleasant. The child chooses to avoid the unpleasant consequences and the behavior disappears. Of course, sometimes even this much intervention is not necessary. With a compliant child, sometimes all you have to do is explain why the behavior is not right and how you do not want to see it again. Sometimes even with a somewhat willful child, if you've been consistent about consequences, just explaining why the behavior is wrong and adding that if she/he does it again such and such is going to happen will suffice. But most children will test you to see if you really are going to respond and to see how much they can get away with. If you are not willing to enforce consequences then, yes, you will have no control over your child's behavior.
There must be an awful lot of nonsense being written out there about parenting. Perhaps that explains why we see so many poorly behaved children and teens these days.